MUTINY ON THE DOG BLOG

The Take Over

As Commodore of Dogs Who Sail, I will be taking over the blog posting from Tanya. Now that’s worth a round of applaws don’t you think. Oww-woof-woof-woof.

Tanya’s great and I love that she’s my human/servant but you see, the thing is, she is a bit boring – all she does is work with boats, write about boats, and live on a boat. Boats, Boats, BOATS!

Me on the other hand, I have THE MOST exciting life in the world and I’m only six months old. Actually, I am quite certain that I OWN the world and EVERY human in it. Why be humble, right?

There’s A New Commodore In Town

You should see each day when we get off the boat and go to land. All the humans IN THE WORLD are there waiting for me outside the shops with the tantalising smells.

“Ohhh, aren’t you so cute!” they squeal in this high pitched sound that sends me stupid. That high excited decibel just makes me jump and spin around and around and feel sooo happy. Yippee! They ALL love me!

“How old is he?”
“What is he? A poodle? A cavoodle? A spoodle? A schnoodle?”

Not even warm are they? I am a Moodle. No, I am Harry, Moodle and Commodore of Dogs Who Sail. I am the only dog in the ENTIRE WORLD who has this title.

But that’s not the best part. What you really need to know is that I am also ROYALTY. Yep, you heard me right. ROYALTY.

I’ve heard Tanya bragging to my fans on land. She says, “His name is Harry, Prince Harry”.

This is exactly what she tells them. Straight up. Just 100% bragging about me.

Apparently there is another Prince Harry and can you believe it, we actually look the same! We do! He has red hair just like my red ears! What’s more, his human, Meghan I think she recalls to, is just as beautiful as my Tanya. See, pure royalty.

So I think there’s some pretty good reasons why I am taking over the Dogs Who Sail blog. It is after all a blog about dogs, shouldn’t a dog write a dog blog? And just like that, I am a poet too.

Toilet Training Methods Scheduled For Restructuring

It’s also high tide for some truths.

These humans of ours have been underestimating and overknowledgfying (yep new word) a really, really important part of our lives.

I am going to set the record straight about what it’s really like to toilet train on a boat. That’s right my Dogs Who Sail pack. I will tell the ENTIRE TRUTH to the humans about what it’s like to be on a moving vessel that’s bobbing up and down while we’re either balancing on three legs or in crouch position. SERIOUSLY! Humans are so obsessed with this insane act and making it all sound soooo easy.

Yes, this topic is high on my agenda of Commodore duties. Is it not time for our humans to humour us and attempt this act at least once themselves? That’s fair and reasonable yes? What’s good for the dog is good for the human.

They will also be required to get the other human onboard to take a photo of them mid act and then go and post it on social media. Oh bones, they’re great at selfies so we might as well let them selfie the event. High paws! Snap!

We’ll be there, treats in mouths to celebrate and praise how fabulous they are with their little green FAKE grass wee-wee mat. Ha. Owww. Woof. Woof.

I’ll give you stories from the bow wows on the bow, to help you live your best life on your boat. And that’s my first paw point right there friends. It is YOUR boat. Say it with me now, “It is MY boat.”

You are the Captain and THEY are the deckies. Don’t fall for that furry four legged crew title. It sounds cute but everyone knows, we are in charge. Say it, live it, breathe it.

Until next week my salty sea dogs, I wish you pawesome dinghy rides, putrid stench dead smells on the beach to roll in and tasty surprises from the galley porthole.

Yours in unconditional love,

Harry
Commodore
Dogs Who Sail

P.S Don’t be fooled by this brown box. I have secretly chewed the zipper teeth with my needle teeth so there is absolutely no way now the doors can be closed. High paw!